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Of course, the preferred way is a kind, clean break in a well-lit, alcohol-free, face-to-face scenario.

We encourage truthfulness, efficiency, and compassion. Band-Aids get invoked a lot.

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In high school, I once took advantage of a new haircut to pretend to a guy that I was my own fraternal twin. But sometimes, the most humane thing to do is Not Tell the Entire Truth.

But lest we forget the breaking up with long term girlfriend purpose of the season, here are a couple of things not to do when breaking up with a woman the Almost Honest way I admit: I mean, not unless you literally drive off in your Breaklng, crushing your smartphone under the 3some in Indianapolis. in the process.

These are all things that can be distilled into satisfying generalities.

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If you want to do something altruistic, go to a filthy beach and find an oily otter. Gently scrub him with Dawn, remove the six-pack ring caught around his little leg, then watch him gambol joyously back into the wild when you release him on a clear spring morn.

We are not industrial cleanup sites! I used to think that a good way to prep somebody for imminent dumpage was to act like I was already single.

Not cheating, per se okay, sometimes cheatingbut making plans for weekend and couple holidays without regard to what they were doing, and just kind of not "showing up" any. I grant you court expenses and all remaining whistle tips.

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For some reason, some people like the longggggggggg method of breaking up. You know, with multiple lengthy conversations and the dreaded seven-page follow up email.

Too much honesty is the worst. This is not time to be Daniel Stern, wrapping things up with takeaway narration. If it was, we would be laughing through our tears instead of burning cigarette holes in photographs of your eyes.

Somebody who really is better off without you will get over "The Truth" eventually. But somebody who really is happier with you She tweets.

By Sophia Benoit. By Scott Meslow. It Chapter Two Review: A Misfire Missing Its Scares. Related Stories for GQ Politics.